The Sacrifices We Make
by littlemissbad
Summary: Olivia learns some unexpected news that causes her leave everything behind, including Elliot. Slight AU, no Eli.
1. Chapter 1

The Sacrifices We Make for The Ones We Love

Chapter 1

_Pregnant_ the little pink sign said.

_Pregnant_ the doctor said.

_Pregnant_. The word bellowed in Detective Olivia Benson's head. A smile crept across her lips as she stared down at her flat abdomen, dreaming about the beautiful baby she was currently carrying. But when she looked up at her reflection, she quickly felt the lovely smile disappear. It just was not that simple.

Olivia was not married. Hell, she hadn't dated anyone in over a year but she had definitely slept with someone.

It would have been easier if it had just been a one night stand with some guy she would never see again but it was a hell of a lot more complicated. She had slept with a man she had always vowed to never get romantically involved with. He was married, he had a beautiful family but most of all, he was her partner.

She loved Elliot Stabler with all her heart. They had been together working in Manhattan's SVU department for nearly ten years and granted many days she wanted to kill him, but she had always loved him. Sometimes it was more than a friendly love and she had always known that would be dangerous. She never thought it would end like this however.

It wasn't even Elliot she was worried about, nor the job she loved so dearly but rather Elliot's family. Kathy, Elliot's wife, seemed to have nothing but venom for since day one of Olivia and Elliot's relationship and she would surely end their marriage once having heard this but that was not something Olivia would be responsible for and she was going to make sure of it. She knew Elliot's four children would feel distraught over the situation as well and once again, Olivia didn't want that.

Neither she nor her child would be responsible for anything corrupt in Elliot's life. That was guaranteed.

She sighed deeply, finally coming to a conclusion for the situation, and looked over at the clock hanging in her apartment living room.

12:45, she read. She had been contemplating for over five hours. Five hours that she was supposed to be researching a current case she and Elliot were working on. It didn't matter anyway. It was obvious she would not be seeing this case through. She just couldn't.

She carefully closed the open folder and switched on the television. With so much on her mind, she knew it would be ridiculous to even try to sleep. Right about now, some bullshit television was just what she needed.

* * *

"Kathy, you are being ridiculous. I was working damnit!' Elliot yelled at his wife who was currently accusing him of spending time with his partner instead of being at the twin's parent teacher interview.

"Yeah, my ass. Sorry if I'm mistaken but one in the morning visit to a café doesn't sound like work to me," Kathy shot back angrily. She was so tired of her husband spending all his time at work and not to mention with Olivia. It didn't matter how much bullshit her husband tried to tell her, she knew better. You just do not work with someone of the opposite sex for nearly ten years and NOT harbor feelings for them.

"What? You don't think I should eat while I'm working? Kathy, do you realize just how ridiculous you sound?" She glared at him and continued washing the dishes in the sink then paused and turned around to face him, pressing her lips together before speaking.

"Elliot, I'm just so tired of it. You never have time for me or the kids. We are your priority not your work. Us, not Olivia, us." Elliot rolled his eyes with anger. Did she have to bring up Olivia every single conversation? It was ridiculous but as soon as he thought about it, he instantly wanted to take it back, remembering the night he and Olivia had spent over a month ago.

"I'm sorry Kath, you're right. I should spend more time with you and the kids," Elliot replied in a distant voice, his eyes never meeting hers. Kathy nodded slowly then threw down the dish cloth and began to walk out of the kitchen.

"Let me know when you actually mean it," she yelled before storming up the stairs, clearly upset. Elliot sighed. He was so tired of this. He truly did love Kathy with all his heart, she was the mother of his children, but he had not been in love with her for a very long time. He just wished he could tell his true feelings to the one he was in love with.

* * *

"Liv, what the hell is this?" Donald Cragen asked his star detective as she walked into his office and handed him an official document he had hoped to receive from her.

"Captain, I want a transfer," She stated.

"Yeah, I can see that," he said sarcastically, though Olivia could sense the no-joke tone in his voice. "Liv, what's up? This is so sudden. Did something happen with you and Elliot? Sit down," he instructed. Olivia nodded and did so resentfully.

"Listen, I don't want to make a big deal of this." Cragen cocked his head to the side.

"Sorry, when one of my star detectives decides to request a transfer out of the blue, it tends to be a big deal. Did something happen with you and Elliot? I need to know." Olivia smiled sarcastically.

"Yes, I guess you could say that," she said. Cragen tried to decipher Olivia's face. Something? What the hell did that mean?

"Olivia, just tell me. Elliot will not hear of anything," he paused, "I need to know if one of my detectives is a risk to others," Cragen finished genuinely. Olivia's eyes went wide. She could not believe that Cragen actually thought that Elliot was abusing her in some form.

"No! It's not like that." Cragen's face became hard again. He wasn't interested in playing 'guess what's on my mind' right about now.

"Olivia, please, just say it."

"I'm pregnant," she finally stated hastily. Cragen's eyes went wide with disbelief. If this involved Elliot that could only mean…

"It's Elliot's," Olivia continued. He nodded mechanically.

"I see. Have you talked to him?" She shook her head.

"I can't let this be the reason his marriage ends. You know Kathy won't stay with him if she finds out and she'll take the kids too. Please, just allow this to be my business. Trust me, it's better if I leave without making a scene." Cragen nodded with an understanding. Olivia was like a daughter to him and there was nothing more we wanted to then to help her.

"Alright, if that's what you feel is right, then that's your business but please don't shut me out. If there's anything you need, you know the number." Olivia smiled. This truly was her family and it hurt her so much to think about leaving them but that was just another sacrifice she had to make.

"I will. Thanks Captain," she said, getting up from her chair and exiting his office. Cragen just nodded. It was hard to watch her leave but he knew she wouldn't be far. He just knew Olivia wouldn't shut him out like she had planned to do with Elliot. SVU was her family just like it was his but he also knew that Olivia had more to worry about right now then hurting people's feelings.

He sighed and looked over her request for transfer, his eyes immediately darting down to where she had requested to be transferred to. _San Francisco, CA_. She truly was looking for a new beginning and as far away from Elliot as possible. He sighed coming to terms with losing one of his best detectives and scribbled his signature at the bottom of the paper indicating his approval for the transfer. He then stacked it on top of some other papers and stared at her name. Boy was he going to miss her.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Elliot angrily stormed into Cragen's office the next day. He had seen Olivia's now empty desk and he wanted answers.

"Captain," He began, "Where the hell is Liv?" Cragen could seen the anger and hurt in Elliot's face but that was expected.

"She left," he replied matter-of-factly. Elliot stared at him with disbelief.

"What do you mean 'left'? Like on a vacation because we have a lot of work to and I really need-"

"Elliot," Cragen stopped him. "She's gone. She transferred yesterday and she's not coming back. You will have a new partner by the end of the week. In the mean time, make some head way in this case. We can't afford stop while we are ahead. I have a feeling this perp is going to hit again if we don't find him first."

Elliot paused. For once, he wasn't sure what to do. He saw red a long time ago but he wasn't sure if he was still angry or just…upset. He walked out of the office and headed off to Olivia's apartment, hoping like hell that she hadn't had a chance to leave yet.

He pulled up to her apartment building twenty minutes later and nearly sprinted up the stairs to her door. He knocked and sighed when nobody answered.

"Liv? It's me. Please open up. I need to-"

"Excuse me? Sir?" A man interrupted. Elliot turned around and looked at the older man who obviously lived in the building as well.

"Yes?" Elliot answered. He was crossing his fingers that the man was not about to tell him the news he had been dreading to hear the entire ride over here.

"The woman you are looking for, she left yesterday. She's probably long gone by now, sorry," he shrugged and walked away. Elliot sighed deeply and threw his head back in despair. He closed his eyes and paused for a moment to take it in. He then walked slower than ever down the stairs, each step deader than the next. He'd just lost his best friend and he didn't even know why.

Once Elliot had arrived back into his car, he slammed his fist down on the dash with anger and he felt tears stream down his face. He wasn't a very emotional man, it was much easier not to be when you had a job like this, but Olivia leaving pulled the most emotion out of him. I guess she had that affect on many people. They trusted her with all their hearts and that's why she was so god damn good at her job.

Stubborn as hell, but beautiful and passionate. That has Olivia. That was the woman he loved.

Another partner, another relationship, another heartbreaking goodbye? No, it would not be heartbreaking because he could not love anyone more than he had loved Olivia, he knew that much. If only he could talk to her, then maybe things would be okay. Maybe he wouldn't have to lose the love of his life…

Suddenly Elliot's phone began to ring. He flipped it open quickly seeing the call display read 'CRAGEN'

"Stabler," he answered.

"Elliot! Where the hell are you? We have a case to solve." Elliot took a deep breath in, trying to calm himself.

"Sorry Capt, I, uh, I had some things to take care of," Elliot replied, his voice distant and only an idiot would not know where he was.

"Elliot, she's gone. I swear on my life, she's gone and she is not coming back. She just couldn't stay here anymore," Cragen said in the gentlest voice he could possibly make. Elliot smiled half crookedly.

"Yep, and there's no way in hell you're going to tell me where she went either, right?" Cragen could tell Elliot was mad. Who wouldn't be? His partner of nearly ten years leaves out of the blue, no explanation, no goodbye, nothing. Even though Cragen knew the extent of their relationship romantically, he also knew that they were best friends before anything. It was going to take a lot for Elliot Stabler to bounce back from this one.

"You know I can't tell you that. You know what? Why don't you take the day off today. Go home and spend some time with Kathy and the kids. You're obviously a wreck right now and there is no way we are going to get anything done with you like this. Go home Elliot. I will see you tomorrow."

Elliot flipped his phone closed and sighed again. Just what he needed. Be around the woman who detested Olivia. Yeah, great idea Captain.

He turned over the engine and gave one last glance at Olivia's apartment building. He honestly didn't know how he was going to do it without her but he knew he had to, for Olivia's sake. God he missed her like crazy already.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own SVU or the characters. If I did, things would be a LITTLE different.**

**Here's the third installment, just a bit of a filler and some background for the story but please don't let that stop you from critiquing me. I love ALL reviews, positive or negative just write what you think and hit that lovely little button. Your reviews are what keep me going and a little shout out to Sybil Oliver. Your reviews make me smile so thanks for the encouragement.**

Chapter Three

Elliot drove down the long winding road, completely oblivious of his surroundings. He was heading to San Francisco where he had recently been transferred to. With everything that had happened, he needed a fresh start and where better to do that than on the other side of the country.

It had been five years since Olivia had left and since then he had gotten a new partner. This guy named Jason and he was as dense as they came. The guy was absolutely pathetic. Elliot swore he had bought his way through life because he truly did not understand how a man so stupid could have made it as far as he had. But that was most definitely not the reason why Elliot had transferred. He could deal with an idiot partner but he could no longer deal with a nagging ex-wife.

It had been nearly five years since he and Kathy had divorced. They had filed for divorce not too long after Olivia had left. It was obvious there was nothing left in their marriage and how do you repair nothing?

Elliot had been seeing his kids every second weekend but that was about to change with the move and all. Lizzie had decided that she wanted to come to San Francisco with Elliot while Dickie decided to stay in New York. Maureen and Kathleen were of course doing their own thing so they weren't of any major concern. Dickie would just come visit Elliot during the holidays and Lizzie would visit Kathy during that time. They would truly be living separate lives now.

Elliot looked over at his daughter who was currently staring out the window, both headphones blaring away in her ears as they usually did. He really wasn't sure why she wanted to come with him. She had so many friends in New York and she was happy there but as soon as Elliot had told them he was leaving, Lizzie had jumped at the opportunity.

The more Elliot thought about it however, he realized why Lizzie would have wanted to ditch New York and come live with him. Kathy had recently married again and though Lizzie had not voiced any negative opinion of him, she definitely wasn't very fond of him or at least was not interested in getting to know him. Dickie had no problem with David but Lizzie just was not interested at all.

That was another reason Elliot had decided to leave. After the divorce, he really had not had much going for him in his personal life. Kathy had already re-married and Elliot was stuck in New York wasting away his life with an idiot partner and haunted daily by the memories of Olivia. He desperately needed a new scene.

Four hours later, Elliot could see the city limits of San Francisco. He excitedly patted Lizzie on the shoulder causing her to take out her headphones.

"What?" she asked in her usual fifteen year old edgy tone.

"We're here!" he cried with joy. He had hoped Lizzie would have been just a little more excited about the trip but apparently road trips across the country just weren't her thing.

"Greeeeat," Lizzie said sarcastically. "Let me know when we finally get to the apartment," she said before sticking her headphones back in her ears. Elliot shrugged. When you've raised four teenagers, you learn to choose your battles.

Elliot sighed out of sheer boredom and continued on through the city. The apartment building was in the heart of downtown so that he would be close to work and there was also a private school nearby that he was enrolling Lizzie in. The one great thing about San Francisco is that the murder and rape there was of a significantly smaller amount than in New York. That meant more time for a personal life and less time spent on the job which is what he desperately needed.

Within an hour of entering the city limits, Elliot had made his way downtown and pulled up to a rather nice apartment building. He smiled and looked over at Lizzie who was busy texting on her cell phone. He shook her gently and she looked at him wearing a rather unimpressed look.

"Are we there yet?" she asked. Elliot nodded so she unbuckled her seat belt and got out of the car. She stared at the building for a few moments then shrugged. "It's okay," she decided and grabbed her bag from the car. Elliot shrugged as well. It's definitely not easy to please teens.

They walked into the lobby and a kindly, older man greeted them.

"You must be Elliot," the man assumed. Elliot nodded and smiled.

"That would be me," he answered and pulled out his wallet and retrieved his driver's license for ID. The man looked at it in awe.

"Long way to come. The Big Apple eh?" The man nodded to himself and grabbed a key out of a slot. "Alright, well I will show you the apartment. Your movers have already been here so everything should be in there ready for you to unpack. I'm Bert by the way. If you need anything, just ask. I'm always happy to help." Elliot nodded and smiled. Bert seemed very friendly and Elliot appreciated it.

They made their way up the stairs to the second floor and down a hallway. When Bert stopped, Elliot assumed they had arrived at their destination. Bert carefully opened the door, sticking his tongue out while he did which caused Lizzie to crack a smile.

"Well there you go," Bert said, ushering Elliot and Lizzie in. "Looks like everything made it here in one piece." Bert paused and looked around the apartment with assurance. He put a lot of time and energy into the building and he was always happy to show it off to new tenants. "Here's a set of keys. Let me know if you need anything. Like I said, always happy to help with anything," Bert said, his bright blue eyes twinkling with joy. Elliot nodded.

"Thanks," he said and Bert nodded, finally leaving the two alone. Elliot looked at his daughter, hoping for a positive reaction.

"Well, what do you think Liz?" he asked excitedly. She shrugged.

"It's okay," she answered. Elliot sighed. Though he had learned not to take many of the things his children said close to heart, sometimes the teenage attitude really drove him up the wall.

"Look Lizzie, I know this isn't exactly the most exciting thing but I didn't force you to come either and it would help if you were just a little happier about it." Lizzie nodded.

"I know, I'm sorry Dad. The apartment is great. Why don't we start unpacking? I kinda want to sleep somewhere tonight," Lizzie offered. Elliot smiled and put his arm around his daughter, shaking her slightly.

"That's a little more like it," he said and they began to open boxes and put things in their place. At least Lizzie being in a happier mood was promising. He smiled, maybe things could be good here.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own SVU or the characters. If I did, things would be a LITTLE different.**

**Fourth installment and thanks so much for your reviews guys! It's such a delight to read them so keep reviewing **

Chapter Four

The very next day, Lizzie started at her new school and Elliot started at his new job. He would still be working for the special victims unit of the San Francisco Police Department, it would just be much quieter than New York and Elliot certainly didn't mind that.

At eight o' clock exactly, Elliot drove Lizzie to school and wished her luck, not that he was worried about her. Lizzie could adjust to almost anything in a heartbeat. After making sure she was safe, Elliot then headed over to the station. He was excited to meet his new colleagues and to get settled into a new routine.

As Elliot made his way into the station, he made sure to observe all of his surroundings. One thing he noticed right off the bat was the amount of energy compared to New York. The station was always buzzing back in New York but here, it seemed…relaxed. Elliot smiled.

He had worked on the job for a very long time. He spent so much time at the station, it had started to feel like it truly was his home and the house he lived in was merely a hotel for the night he needed a good rest. He knew it was true and so did his failed marriage.

In the halls, Elliot noticed a few people give him an odd look like he didn't belong or something. Obviously not friendly people but then again New Yorkers certainly were not up there with the most friendly people either.

When Elliot finally made it to his destination, he smiled with reassurance. He definitely seemed to be in the right place. Filing cabinets, desks scattered with papers, white boards, posters, he was home. He then turned around and nearly walked into a man in his late forties. Elliot figured he was his new captain and held out his hand.

"Elliot Stabler," he said. The man smiled and shook Elliot's hand graciously.

"Tom Braden and your new captain. We're so happy to have you here Elliot," Tom said genuinely. Elliot nodded.

"Happy to be here," he answered.

"Alright, well your partner happens to be out for the week so you will be getting acquainted with detectives Tronsen and Stark for the time being. She will be back next week however so no worries. In the mean time, here is your desk and your new badge." Elliot nodded and took the badge with pride.

"Thanks Tom," he said, turning towards his desk.

"Oh, and Elliot?" Tom asked, causing Elliot to turn around and face him again. "If you need anything, don't be afraid to ask; we're like family here." Tom smiled again then walked off into his office.

Elliot looked around. The people in this room definitely seemed a lot closer and friendlier than the people he had bumped into in the halls.

He walked over to the currently empty desk that was designated as his, and sat down on the chair. It felt good to be in a desk again. Although he would obviously have to get a few things, it felt good.

"So you must be Stabler," Elliot heard a woman's voice say. He turned around and sure enough saw a woman about 5'7 standing above him. She had dark coloured hair that was twisted into a very neat bun and pale skin. Her beige khakis and tucked in maroon long sleeve shirt had 'detective' written all over it. Of course there was also the badge hanging on her pants that gave it away.

Elliot nodded.

"Yep, that would be me." She smiled and held out her hand.

"Rebecca Tronsen and-"

"Jeremy Stark," a man interrupted. Rebecca rolled her eyes.

"Yes, and this is Jeremy." Jeremy held his hand out and Elliot shook it.

"Nice to meet you Elliot," Jeremy said. He had dark brown eyes and wavy brown hair. He was dressed in khakis and a button up shirt; standard detective wear. He also seemed to have that sparkle in his eyes. A risk taker, Elliot could tell already.

"It's nice to meet you too," Elliot answered, giving him a polite smile. He looked at his two new colleagues and nodded to himself. It seemed like the three of them would be getting along just fine.

The rest of the day ended up being quite unexciting and Elliot had ended up leaving earlier than he expected simply because there was nothing for him to do. He headed over to the grocery store and picked up a few things for dinner, Lizzie's favourite, Chicken Cordon Bleu, then drove over to her school.

Even though the school was just a few short blocks from their apartment, there was no way in hell he was going to let his fifteen year old walk home. After years of working with sex crimes, you learn not to take chances, especially downtown in a large city.

When Elliot drove up, Lizzie was just exiting the school which made him happy. Even having her wait outside made him uneasy. She saw him instantly and made her way to the car, throwing her bag in the back when she opened the door.

"How was school?" he asked once she situated herself. She shrugged.

"It was alright. Not too exciting. How was work?" she asked. He raised his eyebrows for emphasis.

"About the same as your day. So, did you meet any friends yet?" Lizzie nodded as she stared out the window.

"Yeah, a few. They're all boy crazy though. It's a little annoying." Elliot chuckled. That was his girl. She had always had a good head on her shoulder. Sure, she liked boys, she had already dated one, but she definitely didn't let boys control her life. Boys were more of an accessory for her which caused Elliot to not be on guard so much around boys Lizzie took an interest in. Kathleen and Maureen, they were a completely different story.

A moment later, Elliot pulled into the apartment building and parked the car. He grabbed the bags in the back and walked up to their apartment. Lizzie opened the door for him and he placed the bags on the counter while Lizzie tossed her bag on the table. A routine was already forming.

"So I picked up your favourite for dinner," Elliot told Lizzie as he began to empty the bags. Lizzie smiled and pulled out a few books from her bag.

"Thanks Dad," she said as she began to work away at her homework. Elliot smiled. He was enjoying the quiet life he and Lizzie now shared. It definitely seemed like the move was the right thing for both of them. Little did he know it would be a good thing for someone else as well.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I don't own SVU. Things would be quite different if I did.**

**Alright, well since you guys have been so faithfully reading and reviewing, I gave you guys an extra long chapter. Hopefully this will satisfy you all for a little while. Keep reviewing!!**

Chapter Five

The next day, Elliot started on his first case in San Francisco and boy was he ever delighted. He, Rebecca and Jeremy had been working on the case all day and were currently sitting over at Rebecca's desk, looking over some files when Elliot noticed a photo on the desk.

It looked like Rebecca, Jeremy and a woman that resembled Olivia. He squinted at the photo for a second longer. It seemed like a slightly older photo since Jeremy's hair was much shorter in the photo than it currently was now. He looked over at Rebecca.

"Who's this?" he asked, pointing at the woman who looked like Olivia. Rebecca smiled, fondly remembering the time when the photo was taken.

"That's Liv, your partner. That was a good night," she said, a smirk still upon her face. Elliot's face was filled with surprise.

"Olivia Benson?" he asked, his voice barely audible. She nodded.

"Yep. I'm sure you and Liv will hit it off quite well," she answered knowingly.

"Already have," Elliot said under his breath. A million thoughts were running through his mind. He just didn't understand. All the feelings he had felt five years earlier came flooding through his body. "Um, uh, what's she taking time off for?" he asked, obviously caught off guard.

"She was just doing some vacationing. We just closed a case last week that was a little rough on her so we told her to take some time off and she did. That girl rarely ever knows when to stop."

Elliot just nodded. He didn't know what to do. All the questions he had, the joy he felt to know that he would be working with her again, the relief that she was okay, the anger that she hadn't so much as to send him a letter. Emotions, emotions, emotions, they were something that Elliot rarely allowed himself to feel but yet this one woman could always make him feel every last bit of them.

Rebecca stared at him with concern. One minute they were having a great time and all of a sudden Elliot went silent. She wasn't sure if she had said something or if it was just him.

"Elliot, are you alright? You look a little pale all of a sudden," she observed with deep concern. He nodded and rubbed his eyes quickly.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Listen, do you know where Olivia lives? I kinda want to get acquainted with her before she comes back. After all, she will be my new partner." Elliot tried to make it as believable as possible. He just needed to see her.

"Yeah, sure. I'm not sure if she's back in town yet but here's her address. Tell her to bring in pictures on Monday when you see her," Rebecca said, handing Elliot a piece of paper with an address scribbled on it. He took the paper and shoved it into his wallet so he wouldn't lose it. She obviously wouldn't be listed in the phonebook so if he lost that paper, he was pretty much screwed.

The rest of the day, Elliot could barely concentrate. His mind was stuck on Liv and he could not, for the life of him, take his mind off of her. Finally at four o'clock, he made his way out of there and down to Lizzie's school.

At around seven, after they had eaten, Elliot looked up at Lizzie. She gave him a questioning look.

"What's up Dad?" she asked. He paused.

"Um, I, uh, I gotta go see someone. You'll be okay on your own for a few hours?" She rolled her eyes.

"Yes, Dad. I'll be fine. Go and do whatever you need to do," she replied in an understanding tone. He smiled and touched her shoulder gently.

"Thanks Liz. Remember, lock the door when I leave. I'll have my cell," he said, putting on his jacket and heading out the door.

Elliot got into his car and looked down at the address before driving away. He had already searched it and figured out that her house was in a suburb just outside of the city. It was definitely a little way for her to come to work each day but most definitely much safer where she was.

After about an hour of driving, Elliot finally turned down a street which he assumed was Liv's. The writing was a little messy so it was hard to read but he had a feeling he was on the right street and eventually, the right address as well.

The house was absolutely beautiful and a fairly good size. It was an evergreen with white trimmings and large windows. There was a big front porch with a table and a set of matching chairs, covered by the overhang of the roof. A large garage was also a part of the house and though only one car was in the driveway, it appeared as though there were usually two cars there. She had a beautiful lawn as well and the house had a slight old Victorian feel to it. It was positively gorgeous.

Elliot walked up to the front porch and paused, trying to prepare himself. After a few moments of lingering, he finally knocked on the crisp white door. He heard voices, then footsteps, then finally the door swung open.

The smile she had been wearing quickly disappeared as shock filled her beautiful olive features. Her big brown eyes, wide and her dark hair had grown out as it now hung just past her shoulders. It was curly and beautiful just as she was and although she was only wearing a pair of jeans and a grey zipper hoodie, he thought she looked like a goddess.

"El-el-Elliot," she began, clearly flustered and caught off guard.

"Hey Liv," Elliot said quietly. They gazed at each other for a moment, taking in every detail of each other's appearance. Finally Elliot broke the stance.

"Can I come in?" he asked. She nodded and without another word lead the way to her living room which was just around the corner from the front door.

They sat down and Olivia instantly glued her eyes to the floor. She didn't understand. What was he doing here? A better question, how the hell did he find her? She had made it quite hard for someone to find her, pulling the un-Olivia and moving to the suburbs. Of course there was definitely a better reason for that then simply not wanting to be found but hopefully that wouldn't be something that would come up tonight.

"Nice place," Elliot observed as he glanced around the room. "Definitely not the tiny little apartment anymore." Olivia merely nodded. She was still speechless. Finally, after a minute or two longer, she found her voice and ended the awkward silence.

"What are you doing here?" she asked softly. Elliot looked at her. As if she had the right to be asking those questions.

"What am I doing here? What the hell are you doing here? Five years. No phone call, no letter, no 'hey I'm alright.' Did I really mean that little to you? Damnit Liv. I travel across the entire country just to 'start over' and here I am, back at square one." Olivia looked up at him.

"Elliot, I don't know what to say." He raised his eyebrows with disbelief.

"You don't know what to say? How about an explanation how about-"

"Mommy! Are you coming?" a little girl asked, cutting off Elliot completely. Elliot looked over at the little girl who was making her way over to Olivia.

She was a spitting image of Liv. Long dark locks, soft facial features but there was something definitely not-Olivia-Benson; her eyes. Those piercing icy blue eyes. They were the same eyes he saw each time he looked in the mirror, the same eyes each of his four children had. They were just like his, but they couldn't be. They just couldn't be.

The little girl climbed into Oliva's lap and looked at Elliot with wonder.

"Mommy, is this your friend?" she asked. Olivia smiled and kissed her head.

"Yes Lex. This is Elliot. He's a detective like Mommy." The girl smiled.

"Hi Elliot, my name's Alexis but everyone calls me Lexi except yesterday. Mommy was really mad because I dropped her cell phone in the toilet so she called me Alexis. It was only an accident though Mommy," Alexis said while looking up at Olivia apologetically. "I didn't mean it." Olivia smiled and kissed her cheek.

"I know baby," she said as she stroked her daughter's hair. "You know what? Why don't you go into your room and play with your toys for a little bit. I need to have grown up talk with Elliot right now okay?" Alexis nodded and jumped off Olivia's lap and stalked back up the stairs to her bedroom.

"She's beautiful, Liv," Elliot said quietly. Olivia smiled weakly and nodded.

"She's my pride and joy," she paused for a moment then looked up at Elliot. "Listen, why don't we meet up sometime later? I don't think it's a good idea to have this discussion here. I don't want Lex to get scared if things get a little out of hand." Elliot looked at her with disbelief.

"What do you think I'm going to do? Start beating on you?" he asked sarcastically. Olivia quickly shook her head in defense.

"No, of course not but I don't need my five year old hearing anything she doesn't need to know right now." Elliot arched his eyebrows with surprise.

"Five years old?" Olivia nodded.

"Well, certainly didn't take you long, did it?" he asked sarcastically. Olivia stared at him with both shock and anger very apparent in her eyes.

"What are you implying, Elliot?" she asked, edginess in her tone of voice. They both stood up from the sofa and Elliot just smiled and waved his hand.

"It's nothing, Liv. We'll talk later, like you said. Tell Lexi I said goodnight," he said before heading out the door and into his car.

Olivia watched as he drove away then threw her head back with frustration. Seeing Elliot Stabler in her home tonight was definitely not an anticipated event and the fact that he had already met Lexi just made things worse. What if he figured it out? What if the Elliot Stabler she used to know so well changed drastically over these few short years? What if he took the one thing that Olivia Benson lived and breathed for.

She put Alexis to bed then climbed into bed herself. She desperately needed some rest and she was so exhausted, she didn't even hear him climb into bed. She stirred as he pulled her close to him and wrapped his strong muscular arms around her.

"Hey beautiful," he whispered, kissing her softly as she opened her eyes. She smiled and kissed him back.

"You were supposed to be home hours ago," she said through kisses. He began to kiss down her neck.

"Mmm. Sorry I got a call from the office and Jenny needed me to see something for the case." Olivia smirked and arched her eyebrows playfully.

"Should I check out your alibi?" He chuckled and kissed her more aggressively.

"So you want to play detective tonight? I think I can arrange that," he said as he began to pull off her shirt. Olivia smiled and climbed on top of him but paused for a moment before going any further. He looked puzzled. "What's wrong babe?" She shook her head.

"Nothing, let's not talk about it right now." He sat up and looked at her, his bright blue eyes full of concern.

"Liv, tell me what's on your mind. You know you can tell me." Olivia shook her head.

"No, Ben, we'll talk about it later. I don't want to ruin the moment." Benjamin Knightly arched his eyebrows at his wife.

"Liv, honey, I think we can safely say the moment has passed for the time being." Olivia sighed and flopped back onto her side of the bed.

"I'm sorry," she said while staring at the ceiling. He sat up and moved closer to her.

"Don't be; we can have sex anytime. Just tell me what's on your mind." Olivia sat up and looked at her husband.

"Alright, well in that case, I'm putting my shirt back on," she said with a smirk and reached over to grab her night shirt that had fallen to the floor.

"Aw, but I like you shirtless," Ben played. Olivia laughed.

"Yeah, I bet you do," she replied, slipping on the shirt. Ben pulled her closer and kissed her gently.

"So my love, tell me what's on that beautiful mind of yours." She sighed again. She had almost avoided that question altogether.

"Well, we had a visitor while you were gone," she began. Ben shot her a questioning look. "It was Elliot," she continued quietly. Ben's eyes grew wide with surprise.

"As in Elliot Stabler? Lexi's father?" She nodded.

"Yeah. Ben, he's my new partner. Rebecca gave him our address and…he met Lex." Ben rubbed his eyes.

"Wow, that's…wow. Do you think it's a coincidence that he found you?" he asked. Olivia nodded.

"Nobody from my old squad knew but Don and he would never tell Elliot," she paused for a moment then looked up at her husband. "I'm worried he will figure it out before I tell him. Those eyes are a dead giveaway." Ben thought for a moment then shook his head.

"I don't think so Liv. We're married; he will just think that she's mine. Our eyes are the same colour," he rationalized.

"But he didn't see you and I don't think he noticed my ring. What if he's already figured it out?" Ben pulled her into his chest and rubbed her shoulders soothingly.

"Liv, I'm sure he doesn't suspect much of anything right now. He's probably just feeling surprised right now; we have nothing to worry about and until you're ready to tell him, we'll stick with our story. She already calls me Daddy so unless he does a DNA test on her, he won't figure it out until you tell him." Olivia relaxed. She knew he was right.

"You're right. I guess I'm stressing over nothing. Now I just have to figure out when it's the right time to tell him." Ben massaged her back gently.

"You'll know, when the time's right, you'll know." She reached up and kissed him.

"I love you," she said softly. "I love you so much. You always know the right thing to say." Ben kissed her back with a little more passion.

"I love you too," he answered and continued kissing her. Olivia stopped him for a minute and looked at him, a twinkle in her eye.

"You know what? I think the moment's back." Ben arched his eyebrow mischievously.

"You know what? I think so too," Olivia laughed and kissed her husband passionately, allowing him to pin her body onto the bed. No matter what happened, her life was wonderful now and now was all that mattered. She truly couldn't ask for anymore.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I don't own SVU. Things would be quite different if I did.**

**Sorry for this long awaited chapter, I've been quite busy and had a slight writer's block but I'm back so hope you're satisfied, or a little satisfied. LOL. Keep reviewing! I basically live for your wonderful reviews!!**

Chapter Six

Monday morning came much to slow for Elliot's liking. He was in desperate need of seeing Olivia again and another house call seemed out of the question.

All he could think about that entire week was Olivia. He had come to San Francisco with the full intention of moving on and leaving the past as the past but after seeing Olivia again, he wanted nothing more than to make her his.

Alexis caused a complication however, not that he disliked her. She was beautiful just like her mother but she had to be someone else's and what if that somebody else was still in the picture? What if Olivia had truly moved on and Elliot had missed his chance to be with the woman he had been so in love with for so many years.

Elliot tapped his fingers on his desk in a nervous rhythm. It was nearly nine o'clock and he had done absolutely nothing but stare at Olivia's empty desk, desperately awaiting the woman's arrival.

Of course, there was plenty of work Elliot COULD be doing like going through the ridiculous heap of paperwork on the suspect for their current case but considering how off he was feeling, he thought it best that he didn't, in case he missed something crucial.

Suddenly Elliot's phone rang. He picked it up off the table and looked at the call display which read a number he didn't recognize though he probably should have.

"Stabler," he answer in a monotone voice.

"Dad?" Lizzie asked with uncertainty. Elliot crinkled his nose. Lizzie was supposed to be at school. What on earth could she possibly be calling about?

"Yeah Liz, what's up? Aren't you supposed to be in school?" Elliot could picture his daughter's familiar teenager eye roll as he heard her sigh.

"Yes Dad, I'm at school. It's break. Hey, can I go to the mall with some friends after school?" she asked. It sounded like she fully expected the answer to be 'no' which Elliot probably would have said had he been not so distracted.

"Uh, sure Liz. Be home for dinner 'kay?" Lizzie paused obviously dumbfounded with the answer she had just received.

"Dad, I've been making dinner for the past week. You would die if I wasn't there to make you dinner," she replied with a heavy tone of sarcasm.

"Right. Okay, I'll talk to you later. Have fun at school," he said before hanging up. He placed the phone back onto his desk and rubbed his eyes for a minute or two, hoping to rid himself of some of the thoughts swarming around in his brain.

"Well, look who we have here." Elliot heard Jeremy's voice and turned around slowly only to find himself staring at his new partner. Jeremy walked over and smiled at Olivia.

"Hey," Olivia responded with a glowing smile.

"Hey yourself. How was Disney?" he asked with a keen interest.

"Oh it was great. Lex has so much fun," she gabbed. Elliot merely stared, taking in absolutely nothing from their conversation.

She looked positively radiant. Her dark hair was perfectly straight and her bangs were swept across her face. She had that familiar smirk on her face with that adorable head tilt causing her hair to fall slightly. Her dark eyelashes were artistically painted with mascara and the subtle eyeliner outlined her eyes beautifully making those beautiful big brown eyes pop even more. She wore an aquamarine blouse and dark blue jeans that hugged her body in all the right spots. Just looking at her made his mouth water.

"Stabler!" Jeremy called. Elliot pretended to put something down in an effort to make it appear as though he was working. He walked over to Jeremy and tried his best not to make eye contact with Olivia.

"What's up?" he asked, playing the oblivious card. He could feel Olivia's eyes on him. She could always read him like a book and for quite some time he too could read her like a book but now, it seemed he had forgotten how to read altogether.

"This is Olivia Benson, your new partner," Jeremy introduced Olivia. Elliot looked up at her for about two seconds then quickly dropped the eye contact.

"Yeah, uh, we already met," Elliot said, flashing Jeremy a smile that very few people could tell was fake.

"Oh, well there you go. No introductions necessary I guess," he mused. Jeremy smiled to himself and walked away leaving Olivia and Elliot to stand in awkward silence.

"So…." Elliot began. He was hoping something would come of his pathetic prompt of a conversation.

"We should get to work," Olivia said coldly. Elliot merely nodded, his arms folded across his chest.

"Yeah," he agreed, though it was barely audible. They walked over to their own desks which were placed against each other just as their desks had in New York. Olivia remained completely silent, her pen motoring away on paper while Elliot merely stared and obviously she sensed his stare because she looked up at him.

"Something I can help you with?" she asked though her voice wasn't really cold anymore. It sounded more like she was hiding something that she didn't want him to find out. He shook his head.

"No, I'm just thinking that's all," he replied. She nodded and went back to work. It pained him when she didn't ask what exactly he was thinking about. That used to be something the Olivia he used to know was always good for. Elliot stared at his clock and realized it was already twelve and now that he thought about it, he was hungry.

"Hey, uh, wanna grab something to eat?" he asked hopefully. Olivia shook her head and smiled.

"I'm not really hungry," she replied.

"Coffee?" he asked. Olivia could tell he REALLY wanted her with him which troubled her. She stuck to her gut.

"Um, I don't drink too much coffee," she said, hoping Elliot would drop it.

"Tea?" he asked again, his voice rather persistent. Olivia could tell she wasn't going to win this battle. She shrugged and ran her hands through her.

"Uh, sure," she said finally. Elliot smiled with satisfaction.

"Great, I'll drive," he announced. She smiled uncomfortably and followed him out of the precinct and got into his car.

"So, where are we going?" she asked once he had started driving.

"There's this nice little café just around the corner." Olivia nodded, being rather familiar with the place and remained silent the rest of the short distance. Once they entered the café, Olivia quickly grabbed a table near a window, close to the door. She needed a quick escape route in case something came up that she wasn't interested in talking about.

"What can I get you two?" a waitress asked a few moments later after they had seated themselves.

"I'll just get water, thanks," Olivia said to the woman. Elliot looked over a menu and decided against it. Food would just make it harder for him to talk to her.

"Coffee's fine," he told the woman who nodded and walked away. Olivia arched her eyebrow.

"I thought you were hungry," she said, a slight edge to her voice. He shrugged.

"Not anymore. I just wanted to talk." Olivia sighed with frustration.

"Look, Elliot. I don't want to talk about it. Let's just forget it ever happened," she offered. Elliot looked at her, anger written all over his face.

"See, that would be fine had I not been dropped on my ass five years ago and left with a dumb ass partner." Olivia could tell he was angry. He wanted answers. That was understandable but she just couldn't give them to him. She wasn't ready to face the truth though the more she thought about it, the more she realized she may never truly be ready to face the truth.

"I'm sorry, I just…I had some things I had to deal with-"

"And you had to move to the other side of the country to deal with them?" he asked with disbelief.

"I-I." She was a complete loss of words. If she said anymore then everything would be destroyed and he would finally know the secret she had kept from him for so long.

"You were my best friend. I think I at least deserved a proper goodbye not an empty desk and apartment. It wasn't fair, Liv. You may not want to give me answers but face it, you owe me those answers." Olivia shook her head angrily.

"Elliot, I'm sorry that I hurt you but I don't owe you anything and don't think guilt tripping me is going to get you your answers because if you knew anything about me, you would know I don't operate like that," she said angrily as she stood up and walked out. Elliot sighed. That was definitely not how he saw it going when he played it in his head.

Just then, the waitress came by with their drinks. She arched her eyebrows and looked at Elliot as she poured the coffee.

"Short visit?" she asked. Elliot nodded as he stared straight ahead, immersed in his own thoughts.

"Yeah, you could say that."


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I don't own SVU. Things would be quite different if I did.**

**A/N: Haven't updated in a while. I'M SORRY! Hopefully you like it. And keep in mind, it is an E/O story but what would a story be without a climax? Just keep with me and REVIEW! 3**

Chapter Seven

_Ding-dong_

Olivia looked up from the sink where she was currently catching up on some unfinished dishes. She sighed and tossed the dish towel slung over her shoulder onto the counter. She gently touched Alexis's shoulder affectionately as she passed the table where her daughter was busy colouring a picture and continued towards the front door.

She tried to peek through the frosted glass to see who it was but she couldn't make out the dark figure so she gave up and opened the front door.

"Elliot," she said with surprise, her brows furrowed. Elliot smiled awkwardly. She had changed into more comfortable jeans and a grey long sleeve shirt with a tank top underneath and those familiar necklaces dangling from her neck. Her hair was in a loose French braid and she looked like she had just come from doing the dishes.

"Mommy!" Alexis interrupted. Olivia turned around to look at her daughter. "Brady's crying," she told her mother matter-of-factly. Olivia smiled.

"Thanks sweetie," she told her softly and looked over at Elliot. "You can come in if you'd like. I'll be right back," she told him and walked off to the other room where Brady remained and sure enough was crying up a little storm.

"Hey, hey," she said soothingly as she lifted the little baby boy out of the playpen in the family room. Brady instantly quieted down as he felt Olivia's warm arms around him and her massaging hand on his back. She kissed his soft baby hair and gently adjusted him on her hip, walking back into the foyer to find Elliot.

Elliot's eyes instantly lit up as he saw the baby resting on her hip.

"You have two kids?" he asked with surprise. She chuckled and shook her head.

"No, this is my nephew, Brayden," she told Elliot as she looked at little Brayden who was gurgling away. Elliot shoved his hands into his pockets.

"Simon's son?" he asked remembering Olivia's half brother Simon Marsden. She shook her head.

"No, he lives in New York. Brady is my sister-in-law's son." Elliot's face hardened slightly at his own stupidity. Of course she was married. There was no one someone as beautiful as Olivia could have remained single. He nodded slightly and before she could explain they were interrupted by a tall, attractive man with dark hair and bright blue eyes just like Alexis's.

"Daddy!" Alexis squealed as she latched onto the man's leg. Ben smiled lovingly at Alexis. He pulled her off his leg and tossed her into the air causing her to squeal even more.

"Daddy!" she yelped. Ben chuckled and placed her on his own hip and looked over at Olivia.

"Who's this?" he asked politely.

"This is Elliot Stabler, my partner," Olivia introduced Elliot. Ben's eyes lit up.

"Oh right! Olivia has told me so much about you," he said politely holding out his hand. "Ben Knightly." Elliot smiled painfully and shook Ben's hand.

"It's nice to meet you," he managed to force out. They stood there in a friendly stance for a few moments longer before Ben interrupted again.

"Hey, why don't you stay for supper? I'd love to get to know my wife's colleague from my own perspective," he said kindly. Elliot exhaled, carefully thinking about his response.

"You know what, I'm not really hungry and I should probably get back to my daughter," he replied. Olivia cocked her head to one side.

"Well, before you leave, what exactly did you come for?" she asked slightly concerned. Elliot nearly exploded inside. His cover was blown. There was no way he was going to get out of this one.

"You know what, dinner actually sounds great," Elliot replied after a mental breakdown within himself. Olivia looked at him fishily but brushed it aside after a few minutes. Elliot followed the small family into the dining room where Alexis's picture remained. She proudly picked it off the table and walked over to Elliot.

"I coloured this all by myself," she stated with pride. Elliot crouched down at her small five year old level and carefully looked at the picture. He smiled but couldn't help but notice the distinct similarities her young writing already had with his own writing. She batted her long dark eyelashes. "You can have it. Daddy's office is already full of my pictures," she shrugged. Elliot couldn't help but smile at her young level of intelligence.

"Well thank you. I will hang it up in my own office." Alexis smiled with glee then walked back to the table and sat in a chair that seemed to be designated as her own. Ben was already seated next to Olivia and baby Brady was seated in a high chair near Olivia so Elliot decided on the vacant seat next to Olivia.

The food had already been set out on the table along with cutlery and plates. Ben pulled out some wine for the three of them and poured Alexis some milk.

"Daddy, why can't I have some of the juice you're having?" she asked, hoping she would eventually be given some of the 'juice.' Ben chuckled.

"It's special juice Lex. Only for grownups," he told her. She crossed her arms across her chest and pouted.

"Everything's only for grownups," she pouted. Ben smiled and kissed her head.

"Trust me sweetie, you will grow up fast enough," he told her lovingly. Elliot watched and he couldn't help but notice the slight pang in his heart that it was not him that was telling Alexis this. How he longed to be a father to Olivia's beautiful daughter.

Dinner went nicely and Elliot found himself taking a liking to Ben. He was a very genuine, hardworking man and from what Elliot had seen, a fantastic father. He spoke with intelligence and seemed to have acquired a great understanding for humanity. He also had a knack for arguing. Not a surprise considering Elliot had recently learned that Ben was a lawyer. He was not nearly as fierce as the Olivia Elliot had known for years had been but he also did not allow people to walk over him and was quick to defend himself. He was definitely the type of man Elliot had always saw Olivia ending up with.

Just after dinner had ended, Elliot decided it was time to get back to Lizzie. Olivia walked him to the door as Ben tucked Alexis in and placed Brady in his playpen for a nap until Ben's sister arrived to take him home.

"Thanks for dinner," Elliot told her as they stood at the doorway. She smiled.

"Anytime. So what's the real reason you decided a house call was necessary?" she asked knowingly. Elliot chuckled at himself. There was no way escaping Olivia. He shoved his hands in his pockets and shrugged like a school boy.

"I just wanted to, uh, apologize. For earlier. I didn't mean to come off so strong." She nodded and stared to the ground for a moment.

"It's fine. I know I owe you answers. I guess I'm just not ready to deal with them right now. Sooner rather than later, Elliot, I promise," she said genuinely. He nodded, knowing she was good for it and how could he ever truly be mad with that beautiful face he had missed so much over the years.

"Sure. Listen I better-" Elliot was cut off by the bright yellow light and noisy engine of a car pulling into the driveway. He noticed Olivia smile.

"I'm sorry, um, Lisa just pulled in. I'll see you tomorrow?" she clarifyied. He nodded.

"See ya Liv," he said in that familiar friendly mode he remembered. He smiled to himself as he walked down the steps towards the car and watch as Lisa greeted Olivia who now had a sleepy Bradyen all ready to go in his carrier. She handed him over to Lisa with such love and care, Elliot couldn't help but be filled with joy over the fact that Liv now had Lexi. She had wanted kids for so long and Elliot remembered all the cases that had involved children. She always had that longing gaze and now she finally had it. Elliot too remembered his own longing gaze, but not at the children, at her, at his partner. She was the only woman Elliot felt butterflies around but he never did have to courage to tell her truth and now he had lost it completely. All those chances he had meant nothing now because she had him. The lawyer husband, the big house, the beautiful child, she had it all. It truly was amazing how things could turn out.

He sighed to himself then drove off as she closed the front door behind her.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I don't own SVU. Things would be quite different if I did.**

**A/N: Haven't updated in a while. I'M SORRY! Hopefully you like it. I'm famous for throwing in those characters that you tend to love but hate at the same time so bear with me. Like I said E/O you just gotta have faith people! Thanks guys for keeping faithful. I will try to update more often just soooo busy lately! REVIEW!! 3**

Chapter Eight

Olivia closed the door behind her and sighed, turning around to find her husband.

"Finally he's gone," she commented as she began to walk up the stairs. Ben stopped and stared at her.

"Why do you say that?" he asked, his voice soft and understanding like usual. She turned around, confused with the question. "I'm just curious. You seem so happy when he's around," Ben observed. Olivia smiled and brushed her hand over Ben's cheek.

"Of course I'm happy when he's around; I love him. It's just nice to be able to send him home at the end of the night sometimes," she justified. Ben nodded but seemed a little disappointment with her reply.

"So you wouldn't want more kids then," he said, though it was evident it was a statement rather than a question. Olivia paused and furrowed her eyebrows.

"Why would you say that?" she asked, her voice seemed slightly edgy. He was acting too odd for her to decipher and it was causing her to become frustrated with him. Ben turned around and looked at Olivia.

"Well, you just said that it's nice to be able to send him home at the end of the day and obviously if we had more kids then we wouldn't be able to do that." Olivia's face instantly softened as she walked closer to him and kissed his shoulder gently.

"Where is this coming from?" she asked in a voice so soft it seemed a mere whisper.

"I've just been thinking lately with all the time Brady has spent over here and Lexi's fifth birthday coming up…it would just be nice to have another little one." His words made it sound like he had surrendered any hope of having another child with her reply to his remark. Olivia chuckled and turned to face him.

"Honey, if you really wanted to have a baby, you should have just said something. I don't like it when you get all cryptic on me." She smiled and kissed him and he chuckled back.

"Yeah, I guess it's a little unlike me. So does that mean that you want another baby too?" he asked hopeful again. Olivia couldn't help but smile at the adorable face he was making. It was the kind of face a child asking for ice cream made. It wasn't long before her face fell again and she looked at her husband very seriously. Her face had suddenly filled with so much sorrow and Ben instantly forgot his selfish desires. "Liv?" he asked softly.

She raised her big chocolate brown eyes to face him as she brushed away the tear that had escaped her eye.

"I'm sorry," she sniffled, "I just started thinking about the whole Elliot situation again. You remember how I was when I was pregnant with Lexi, what if my hormones get in the way and I let something slip and…and he takes her away." Ben studied her features carefully. She had always put on such a tough act but once she let you in, you could see how truly vulnerable she was. All the pain she had endured over the course of her life was heartbreaking and Ben had never been so happy as to simply be there and help to take some of that pain away. He carefully brushed his hand over her face and kissed her forehead tenderly.

"Liv, if Elliot is half the father Lexi deserves, he won't do something so stupid as that. I don't care what I have to do in court, I will make sure he doesn't take away our precious little girl and from the sounds of it, he would never think about doing that." Olivia sniffled again then nodded and snuggled into the warm embrace of her husband's strong arms.

"You're right. You're always right and I do want another baby. I want your baby," she smiled and kissed him lovingly. Ben smiled back and took her hand in his and led her into the master bedroom. Closing the door behind him, he couldn't help but love his life just the way it was.

Elliot walked into the apartment and found Lizzie asleep on the couch, the TV was on some garbage celebrity challenge and there was his blonde hair little girl, all grown up little girl, sleeping as peacefully as she had when she was two. Elliot smiled and pulled a blanket over her which caused her baby blue eyes to flutter open.

"Dad?" she asked groggily.

"Shhh," he soothed, "go back to sleep. I'm here now." Lizzie didn't even acknowledge him and turned over, falling back into a deep sleep. Elliot chuckled silently and turned off the TV. He walked into his room and grabbed a pair of night clothes then walked into the bathroom and got ready for bed.

He entered his room again, freshly shaven and dressed in some pajama pants and an old academy shirt and sat on his bed, carefully pulling out his laptop. Waiting for google to load up, he glanced out the window and listened. He could only hear one siren and it was so much quieter than his New York apartment; it was odd. Taking his attention away from the change, he carefully typed in 'Benjamin Knightly' into the search engine and waited for the results.

His eyes widened as he looked over the various pages dedicated to Ben Knightly and shook his head. Olivia had definitely landed the jackpot with this one. Ben was one of the best attorneys in town and not so much to his surprise; he was currently the city's district attorney. She definitely had a thing for keeping it in the family. Elliot sighed in defeat. There was no way he was going to win her back; this guy had it all. Good looks, great job, family orientated and most of all, it wasn't complicated with him. He didn't have another family, there weren't legal barriers between them and he was her little girl's father. Elliot simply couldn't come close to competing with that.

He scrolled down a bit and came upon a photo of the three of them. Ben had his arm around Olivia and Alexis was giggling hoisted on his hip with his other arm around her. They looked like the perfect family and worst of all, Liv was smiling in a way he had never seen her smile. It was the smile he had always hoped she would look at him with but that was never going to happen now.

He couldn't blame Ben. Nobody can blame somebody for being, well, perfect but it didn't mean that Elliot didn't want to cut out his picture and put his own picture in with the happy family. He wanted that more than ever but then again, he already had it and he screwed it up royally. He never loved Kathy the same way he should have though and that's what was always missing in that marriage. Then Olivia came along and all Elliot did for eight long years was kick himself time after time for not waiting. He didn't have much say in the whole 'waiting' part; it just happened but it didn't make the regret he had always carried any easier.

The night he had spent with Olivia was amazing and he thought it was the turning point. Sure they were wasted beyond compare but Elliot knew the overwhelming happiness he felt that night was not just because he had downed five shots. But it was too good to be true. He moved too fast and made her feel like some one night stand; just another fling. Olivia was the only woman that had ever meant so much to him and he hurt her so much she couldn't even bare to stay in the same city with him. Ben deserved her, not Elliot.

He powered down the computer and closed the lid, placing it back on the night table. After tonight, he didn't want to get up but unfortunately crime doesn't care what you want to do, it never stops and if Elliot couldn't be the knight-in-shining-armor for Olivia, then he would have to be the knight for someone else. He pulled the covers over his body then tried to close his eyes and forget as best he could the mess he had made with his life.


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I don't own SVU. Things would be quite different if I did.**

**A/N: Well this was a quicker update hopefully that will make up for it and eek I foresee some angry readers but trust me guys, it's all part of the plan! Thanks for the faithful reviewers. It means a lot and please, KEEP REVIEWING. A little critique here and there really helps me out. Remember it's E/O, I am just strongly concerned with a good plot :)**

Chapter Nine

The next few months were a blur. The days passed by and Elliot watched with such intense jealousy as Olivia continued to live her happy life with the well-respected DA who was always there to remind Elliot who she belonged to. Ben really was a great guy and Elliot was so glad that Olivia had found someone to take care of her in the way she deserved but it didn't take away the resentment he felt towards him.

Lizzie had started dating and had gotten herself a part-time job. He hated the fact that she was working while still in school but she had maintained her grades and she only worked on the weekends so Elliot had decided to be content with it. He was okay with her boyfriend too. Trent was a good kid with a good head on his shoulders and he trusted him with Lizzie. Not that he needed to; Lizzie could take care of herself. Sixteen or not however, Lizzie was always going to be his little girl.

Relationships with his other colleagues had begun to prosper as well. He and Jeremy and Rebecca frequently went out for drinks after they finished a case and sometimes they would hang out on the weekends if he had nothing to do which was often. It wasn't that Elliot didn't have the time to be doing things, he just didn't want to. He wasn't over her yet and it was going to take someone very special for that to happen. For now, Lizzie was his girl and that was the end of it.

Elliot began to quickly type away on his computer as he tried to finish his report on the Graden case. He had put it off for so long now and he was starting to get some trouble about it so he tried his best to focus on completing it.

"Elliot," Olivia said, her long hair was pulled back into a softly swaying ponytail. Elliot smiled gently but didn't pay too much attention; he wanted his report done.

"Uh, hey Liv. Listen, I really gotta get this done. Can we talk in a bit?" he asked, not paying much attention to her. She leaned against his desk.

"Actually, I just wanted to see if you were free tonight. Thought maybe he could talk about something if you weren't busy," she said. Elliot paused and twirled around on his desk chair.

"Uh, yeah. Sure. I don't think I'm doing anything. Did you wanna go right after work? I'll just tell Liz that I'm going to be a little bit late." She nodded and grinned.

"Sounds good. I'll, uh, let you get back to that report before you have the chief down here asking about it." She smirked and walked away leaving Elliot wanting more as always. He shook his head and chuckled to himself then got back to work.

* * *

"Hey Liz? It's me, Dad," Elliot said into his cellphone. He could picture Lizzie's familiar teenage 'I know' look.

"Yeah, Dad, I got that. What's up? I'm making pork chops for dinner," she told him.

"Yeah, you know what? Save those for tomorrow. I'm going out with Olivia for a little bit so I will be home a little later. There should be some money in the pot if you wanted to order take-out or something," he offered. He always made sure that he left some money in the plant pot that, ironically, never had a plant in it, just in case there was an emergency and she needed some money. It had definitely come in handy more than once.

"Okay. Don't worry about it, Dad. I'll just fix myself something. See you when you get home," she replied. Elliot smiled. She was always so collected and put together. That was something Elliot was still trying to master.

"Okay Liz. I'll see you soon. I love you," he told her lovingly before he hung up. He turned around and found a grinning Olivia.

"Ready to go?" she asked. He nodded and the two left the precinct.

"So where to Detective?" he asked once they were on the road. She pointed to a tiny little restaurant not too far from the precinct so Elliot stopped and parked the car right in front of the restaurant. He had a feeling this wasn't going to be too long so he didn't think twice about the one hour time limit on the parking space.

They walked into the restaurant and were immediately greeted by a young blonde hostess who showed them to their seats then took their drink orders. Elliot had ordered two beers but Olivia had rejected the beer and asked for water instead which was a little peculiar to him.

"So Liv, what's this about?" he asked. Over the past few months they had become quite friendly again but it still was nowhere near how friendly they had been in New York. Olivia was grinning from ear to ear.

"Well, as my partner, I wanted you to know first," she told him, her voice full of excitement. He sipped his beer and nodded slowly in acknowledgement.

"Okay, um, shoot I guess," he replied, unsure of the 'news' she was about to tell him.

"Well, I'm pregnant!" she announced excitedly. Elliot nearly spat his beer across the room.

"Pr-pregnant?" he clarified. She nodded and smiled brightly. She was so happy and he was so…not happy. I mean one kid was hard enough to get over but now she was pregnant with another one of his kids. That was some news. Elliot tried his best to compose himself. The last thing he needed with the shaky grounds of their newly built friendship was for her to find out he was jealous.

"Wow, Liv. That's uh, that's great. I'm happy for you," he managed to choke out though it didn't sound too convincing to his ears. Olivia must have been far too excited to realize that however as she was just beaming away with happiness.

"Thanks. Ben and I are really excited." Elliot merely nodded and took a big bite of his burger. He didn't know what else to say and he was afraid if he kept talking then the truth might slip out which happened to be a little more along the lines of 'fuck you and fuck your perfect lawyer husband.' Thankfully, he didn't spit that mouthful out.

He looked down at this watch and pretended to be astonished with the time.

"Wow, um, geez. It's getting kinda late and Liz is probably waiting for me at home so, uh, good luck. I'm happy for you," he said, laying down forty dollars for dinner. She looked confused.

"Really? It's only seven," she quarreled.

"Yeah, you know, Lizzie said she needed help with her math so I should probably go and do the 'dad' thing. Tell her to keep the change," he said before leaving Olivia at a table by herself.

He was out the door in a matter of seconds; he needed out of there. Fast. His mind was full of thoughts, mostly jealousy. Mostly wishing it was his baby she was pregnant with and desperately wishing this was just a big joke. Yeah, sure he had told himself that he was okay with it but this news just opened the wound he had thought had healed already and it stung like a bitch.

Elliot nearly jumped when he heard his phone ring. He opened the flap quickly and brought it to his ear, worried it was Lizzie.

"Stabler," he answered mechanically.

"Hey, it's me," came Olivia's familiar voice. Elliot instantly tensed up.

"Hey, um, is something wrong. Case or something?" he asked. She paused.

"Um, I just wanted to make sure everything was okay. When you left you seemed a little…frazzled," she observed. _Fuck of course she would tune into that_, he thought to himself.

"Oh yeah, I was just worried about Liz. Everything's fine. I'll see you tomorrow and give my regards to Ben," he told her as he hung up and tossed the phone into the passenger's seat which was now empty. He then realized that he left her hanging with no ride. He thought about going back but, again, realized that Ben would probably already have taken care of it; that's what good husbands do and he was nothing short of that.

Elliot hit the dash of his car. Hard. Boy did he feel like idiot and it was probably only going to be the beginning of that feeling. He pulled into the apartment building and killed the engine. He wasn't worried about Liz. She would be fine. He was worried about himself and right about now all he needed was a good night's sleep to clear his clouded head.

One thing was for sure. If he thought things had finally gotten simple, he was sadly mistaken.


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I don't own SVU. Things would be quite different if I did.**

**A/N: Well this was definitely a looooong prolonged update but I will be uploading a second chapter tomorrow or shall we say later today since it is already some ridiculous time in the wee morning hours. Anyway, love me or hate me, this is it and this may explain why some of you are hating Olivia right now but trust me, she has reason. Btw, I did not read this through entirely so if there are a few proofreading mistakes I APOLOGIZE IN ADVANCE! **

Chapter Ten

Olivia hung up the phone with Elliot and quickly dialed Ben's number. She wasn't sure why Elliot had reacted so oddly but she definitely knew something was up with him. Weren't friends supposed to be happy for friends? She had been happy for Elliot when he had gotten back with Kathy for the first time. Okay, so that wasn't entirely true but she still had feelings for Elliot back then before that night…

"_Five years? Are you fucking kidding me?" Olivia yelled in outrage as she and Elliot made their way back into the squad room. They had just come back from the hearing of a rape case that Olivia had gotten very attached to and with good reason. The victim was a young 21 year old woman who had been totally taken advantage of by her professor who had raped her several times. The girl was absolutely traumatized and the rapist seemed like a monster during the interrogation and he was. As far as Olivia was concerned, he deserved life._

"_Liv, there's nothing we can do. It's done and I agree with you but you gotta let this go," Elliot tried in a calm tone. She merely shook her head and ran her hands through her short shoulder length hair._

"_Yeah, I know. It's just, I got too attached that's all. Sorry," she apologized. He flashed her that familiar half-smile and rested his hand on her shoulder._

"_Don't worry about it. Hey, what do you say we go grab a drink to cool down?" he suggested. Olivia nodded._

"_That sounds like a great idea," she replied and followed her partner out of the precinct._

_Five hours later and nearly five shots later, Olivia and Elliot were trashed but thankfully a small fraction of their conscious minds still remained. Elliot had decided to leave his car where it was and crash at Olivia's, knowing full well what an idiotic idea it would be to drive home in his state. _

_Sometime later, they burst into Olivia's apartment laughing like adolescents about nothing in particular. Elliot toppled over and almost pushed Olivia over but she caught him instead. The laughing stopped for a mere second and a glance was passed between them. Before Olivia had a chance to think Elliot's tongue was in her mouth. She pushed him away lightly._

"_Elliot, what are we doing?" she asked drunkenly. "You're married." Elliot smirked and continued kissing her passionately. He then pulled off his ring and threw across the room and chuckled devilishly._

"_Not anymore," he nearly shrieked. Olivia laughed forgetting about the situation for a moment but as soon as he starting kissing her again, she remembered. _

"_El, I think this is a bad idea. We're drunk and I-I…" she trailed off. Elliot paused and looked at her mischeviously. _

"_You what?" he asked. She sighed._

"_I'm out of excuses," she told him and with that Elliot hoisted her up into his arms and carried her to the bedroom and continued to act out one of his most prized fantasies only it wasn't a fantasy anymore._

Olivia sighed as she brought herself back to the present. The morning after, Elliot was gone before she even opened her eyes. She had almost forgotten what had happened the night before but when she looked around at the sheets and her naked self, she knew exactly what had happened.

The next day when she showed up at work, that was what had hurt the most.

"_Hey El," she greeted him with ease the next day. He looked up and smiled then went back to his work. She nodded to herself then sat down at her desk and started working on her case files. _

"_Hey, Liv, uh, about the other night. What do you say we just forget about, put it behind us you know?" he asked. Olivia looked up at him, making sure to stay composed. He looked so nervous but that wasn't what bothered her the most; it was the guilt. It was written all over his face and that just killed her. She smiled, trying her best to make it look legitimate. _

"_Yeah, of course. Um, what night?" she played along. He sighed a sigh of relief to himself._

"_Thanks," he told her before returning to his work. She nodded and got up from her desk._

"_I'll be right back," she told him. He nodded but didn't even lift his eyes from the paper. She walked off and hurried to the ladies room, making sure that no one else was in there then locking it behind her. She sat on the toilet lid and cried. Her tears where like a never ending waterfall and no matter how hard she tried to stop them, they just kept coming. _

And that was why she left. No matter how much Olivia cared for Elliot, all she could think of was that night and how ashamed he was and how ashamed he would be when he found out a child was the result of that night. She couldn't bear being the burden just like she couldn't bear it with her own mother and she refused to bear it with her partner.

Olivia looked down at the ringing cell phone and smiled as she read the caller ID. It was Ben. That felt right; he felt right. It felt good to be called upon by someone that wanted you not because they felt guilty but because they wanted nothing more than to feel your presence every minute of every day and that's how Olivia felt with Ben. That's how she had felt since day one and though their relationship had some complications with what it entailed, it was wholesome, based upon the sole reason relationships should be based upon. Wanting each other.

"Hi honey," she answered lovingly. And just like that, she forgot why she had even began to think about the night that changed her life. He had that affect on her and she decided it was a good thing. Dwelling on the past had been an issue for most of her life and for whatever crazy reason, Ben had helped to cure her of that and she appreciated it more than he would ever know. Maybe Elliot would never figure things out and maybe he would always be the one person who seems to have it all together but under the surface is nothing but an angry volcano awaiting to erupt. She didn't know and for the first time in her life, she wasn't worrying about it because this time he was strictly her partner not the man she was hopelessly in love with that would never love her back the same way.


End file.
